MIRROR, by Alex

So scared
To meet the world as me
So hard to leave the house
Without having makeup on my face
Like a solid mask
To hide behind
I can’t remember the last time
I’ve seen the color of my eyes
Or the color of my skin
What I see is lies
I know it
The vision in my head affects what I see
Do you know what it’s like
To feel ugly all the time?
I put my self out there
Gathered up the nerve
In recompense
You dragged me through the dirt
You call my weaknesses out
And push me to the floor
I’ve got to learn to stand tall
So you can’t hurt me anymore
Your world surrounds me
Kills me slowly
I’ve never been one to complain
But why?
Why do we all live
And die
In the worldly web of lies?
Do you know what its like
To feel ugly all the time?
To only see the worst in yourself?
I want to see the light
I just want to make it through
This darkness
This ‘night’
Sure I’ll look in the mirror
Staring back at me
The person I hate
No she doesn’t look like me
I see what they tell me to see
Looking in the mirror
Staring at the girl I hate
I don’t wanna see the worst
That seems to be all there is
Don’t let it consume
All I see
Is the webs you weave
I just want to know why
We are content to live and die
In the world of lies
Behind a mask
With a smile on my face
Everyday pretend I’m pretty
Every day I fall apart
This mask everyday is ripping me apart
I cut my body
I let it bleed
The pain in my skin
Is easier to believe
The pain inside can never show
I have to smile
I have to ‘let it go’
I sit here now
An outcasts
A Reject
One of many the world forgets
Lost in darkness
No one to hear my cries
I’ll write and I’ll write
Till my hands bleed
But no one will read
It seems all I hear are the devils wishes
Cry out in pain
No one knows how to find me
Lost in darkness
I can cry out in pain
But no one knows how to reach me
No one can hear me
No one comes
No one listens
My blood runs red
Down to my feet
I know what it’s like
To feel ugly all the time
~Mirror, by Alex

“For the last 5 years of my life I have been a victim of merciless bullying. It destroys who you are and how you view yourself. You learn that you have to pretend not to care. You have to pretend like you think you are better. You have to pretend like it doesn’t bother you. If they sense one weakness they will tear you apart.”

1 thought on “MIRROR, by Alex”

  1. Such powerful words to express such pain. Giving voice to deep emotions helps to ease the pain, knowing that others are, or have, shared the same experience helps us understand that we are not alone, that we can overcome the pain of being bullied, of being mistreated and abused.

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