I know this may not be as bad as other people but ya know… I’m feeling emotional so it’s time to share some of those emotions…
Derr… I was in first grade when I started getting bullied. Well actually… It started from when I could walk because my brother would always bully me. Anyway, I was new to the school because I went to a different elementary school before transferring. I was so LOST. And really scared. I walked into the classroom and everyone looked at me like I had two heads or something.
Flash forward, a few months later. I’m at the top of my class, academically. But my behavior, what!? I was horrible. Then my teacher said something, and the day after that, I was one of the best students in the school. Some girls were jealous of me, I guess. They teased me, called me names, blamed me for stuff and I’d get in trouble. Buuut because of my timidness, I took it.
Second grade, bullyin’ gets worse. I was teased a lot more, and I didn’t tell teachers about it. My friends always made me feel better, though. Third grade… Still just teasing. People called me fat, ugly, stupid, etc. But then it got a little physical. People started pushing me and tripping me. One time I was getting lunch, walking to my table when someone flipped my tray and the disgusting, steroid filled school food spilled all over me.
Fourth grade, people started cursing at me and still pushed me around. They never let me play with them so everytime at morning and lunch recess I’d sit alone around a tree and just be… sad. Again, at lunch, I was carrying my tray but then someone snatched it from my hands and threw it in the trash. The lunch ladies wouldn’t let me get another tray.
Fifth grade was my very worst year. I dealt with four years of bullying. I knew, I just knew, I was the only one who really got bullied. Which is why I skipped school. A lot of people still wouldn’t let me play with them or anything. And if I did, if I messed up, even just a little bit, they’d curse me away. Many of my “friends” betrayed me and I lost my trust in them. I had not trust for a lot of people. Teachers and my family tried helping me but… It didn’t stop the bullying. I was also beaten a lot, to the point where my mom would beat me with an extension cord. On the side with the plug. I’d go to school the next day and the only person who really worried about me was my teacher.
That’s when I thought about suicide. I get stressed easily, and a lot of the stress was building up on me. For four years. It just collapsed on me. I took a knife and held it to my chest (I was home alone that time) and then I just started sobbing and sobbing. And I threw it into the sink. I thought about it again not too long after, maybe a few months later.
During gym one time I was pushed down on purpose and I hit my knee, it was badly hurt. I didn’t get surgery or anything like that though. Sixth grade was okay for me, I guess, but bullying persisted. People would take my bag and dump it out. They’d push me and hurt me and said that if I told anyone they’d kill me. But I told my dad.
People took my money and my wallet too, sometimes. My phone and book was taken one time. My sweater too. They’d take my food and eat it in front of me. On a school trip, we were waiting for the sign to have the walk sign to cross the street and someone pushed me in the street and I almost got hit But I had friends so I was kinda happy…!
Girls talked about me and made fun of me. One time a girl said to me “Listen you little bitch, if you don’t shutup, I’ll fight you again and rip your fucking weave out!” I was like “WTF?!” I had NEVER gotten into a fist fight in my life. I didn’t even say ANYTHING to her! She was with others, so it was very obvious she was trying to impress them. Also, I’ve never worn a weave or a wig, and I’ve never gotten extensions or a perm. Nor have I ever dyed it. Just cause I’m black I immediately gotta have a weave!?
Girls won’t the only problem. Boys looked at me all the time. God, I felt so nervous! Then one time, when the teacher wasn’t looking, a boy went over to me and groped my boob. He ran back to his seat as soon as she turned around. I kick him in the leg after that. But the… touching happened several times. Oh, did I tell you this was all in sixth grade?
Flash forward to where I am now (still not telling you my age or grade). My teachers are awesome and my friends are even better. I’m more open to my family, but most of all, I have you guys. All I can say is… Thank you.
I guess what I’m basically trying to say is… Stay strong. Don’t EVER let others get to you. Don’t be stupid and try to commit suicide or something like that just because you’re suffering. Millions of other kids are doing much worse than you guys. Much worse. Talk to someone. Tell them. Don’t be afraid to talk about your problems. Don’t be like me. Life is hard, it’ll almost never go your way. But it’s things like this that bring us together and help us stay strong. We’re all here for a reason. Stop crying, look ahead, and smile to the sky. Shine bright and be the leader who you want to, no, need to be. There will always, ALWAYS, be someone there for you. Everything will be alright in the end. If it’s not alright, it’s not the end. Happiness may not always be in front of you, but it’s there.
You just gotta find it.
~My Bullying Story, by Anonymous