I feel like a soldier in a battlefield – inside my body, soul and mind.
I can see the battle in front of me and from behind.
It’s a spiritual battle that I can not lose.
A little scared, I could run away if I choose.
I have faith that my god and his angels will help me to fight.
I believe I have the courage to battle this with all my might.
I see my bully as the enemy in this battle.
My mind’s eye must face him and not shake or rattle.
Bully, you used your painful words and actions against me.
Like weapons formed, I can’t let them prosper you see.
Thankfully, I was given a coat of arms since birth.
My name has become my shield for life’s battles on this earth.
VIVECA [Vi-veh-cuh] – my shield, my protection.
Like a compass, it gives me some direction.
It’s an uncommon name for an American-born girl.
It’s a name that’s recognized all around the world.
It means energy, strength and life!
Being mindful of it eliminates some strife.
My American-born parents breathed protection into my name.
For my future children, I’d do the same.
Bully, you tried to strip me of my entire identity.
Your trick was to create false credibility.
EVIL has used you to create a sham.
My role as a victim is to never forget who I am or whose I am!
Bully, your soul must be hurting to inflict pain on another.
Hurt people hurt people and even each other!
Physical and verbal bullying is part of what you did.
I’m also uncovering some stuff that you hid.
You created these traps to shut me in and out.
When I was in your space, I almost saw no way out.
Bully, someday, you’ll be known as MY bully – along with your name.
Light will be shed on your twisted game.
Suicide is NOT my answer to you – no matter how big of a bully!
For the mental pain, I must live my life fully!
A dark place with a glimmer of hope can’t go without light for long!
In this battlefield, I will continue to rise – and RISE STRONG!
~Rising Up The Battlefield…Pen In Hand, by Viveca Lauren W
“This poem is the battle cry of a young soldier-like female named Viveca. Her name means energy, strength and life! For many years, her voice and face was once swept into the darkness of her bully’s abuse- where she felt trapped, weary, lifeless and weak. Now out of the darkness of her bully and out of his life, she has gained the courage to use poetry to fight and heal the pain, suffering and scarring of her mind, body and soul. With the help of different types of therapy, she unburies her artistic-self and rediscovers poetry as a potential creative source of healing and deliverance in her spiritual battle. She experiences a number of emotions during her fight – especially anger! Writing helps her to combat some of the painful images and words that her mind’s eye sees as a result of having a bully.
“She believes the meanings of words and names can speak life or speak death into the minds, bodies and souls of human-beings. A believer of non-violence, she believes that writing poetry is her greatest weapon of defense against the painful memories of her bully! She would rather focus on getting through her fight and healing with positive words and names that will not steal, kill or destroy her joy. As a spiritual epiphany, she sees the meaning of her first name as a coat of armor that defines her true identity. She must wear and walk in her armor to arm and shield her mind, body and soul.
“Many times, her bully spoke death over her life with verbal and physical abuse. The scars and bruises from the physical abuse have faded, but some of his verbal abuse still lingers like a fresh open wound that has not yet completely healed. Almost on a daily basis, she was bullied with words like; die, bitch, sorry-ass, deaf, dumb, broke, weak, bum, and ugly! These days, Viveca is able to realize that she is and always was full of life, nice, compassionate, thoughtful, smart, rich at heart, worthy, useful, powerful, strong, and beautiful! Her spiritual awakening reveals that her higher power was always there – even when she was in the darkness! His word allowed her to cling to her life and make it out of her bully’s darkness!
“She realizes her power for fighting life’s battles comes from the strength of positive names and words – whether she reads it, hears it, speaks it or writes it. VIVECA – energetic, lively and strong- serves as a testament of who she is and the light she chooses to walk in! She must not forget who she is or whose she is! And she must remember that bullies come in all shapes, sizes, colors, backgrounds and ages- in a number of different life settings! She realizes that suicide is not the answer to being haunted by a bully! Her FAITH is what gets her out of bed and she walks in it! For she is not alone, because there are other angel-like soldiers – standing behind her, before her, over her and beneath her – helping her to RISE STRONG!”